I must say the past week has shaken my world, and now I'm left feeling empty, sad, but also hopeful. It took me awhile to realize the theme of my life as of now. If I had to sum up the past few months it's recognizing and accepting the reality of death. Not death of someone in the family or anything like that, but rather the concept of realizing that life really is a series of seasons. In order for one season to start, one season has to end. As I've said before, I'm done with college and now I'm looking for work. I go back to Purdue University once or twice a week to work at the office. When I go back, I feel out of place. I feel as if I don't belong, as I should. I'm no longer a student and it's time to move on. I'll be moving on in August because that's when my current job ends. When I go to Purdue for work, I also try to stop by and see a few friends while I'm there. Hanging out with my friends feels weird. They're focusing on internships and school, and they're perspective of the world is different because of that.
I'm ready to move on from that place and here at home. I love them both, but it's time to move on. Of course I'll miss going to the college bars with my friends and knocking drinks out of random people's hands and almost getting in fights (yeah...we've done that too many times), and I'll miss the ability to just chill late at night with my old roommate playing GTA V and randomly spitting some rap "off the dome". Even here at home, I'll miss going over to a friend's house and chilling playing some video games and staying out til 3am. I did that for many years, but I can't do that anymore. This is what I mean, coming to terms that things are changing and I need to adapt, or die (not literally).
Other parts in my life are ending as well. I'm not trying to get too personal with my life but a very important relationship is drastically changing. Long story short, things weren't working out for the both of us and we agreed it's time to take a step back. Things like this fucking suck. Also, my favorite cat is developing a weird growth on her stomach. It's full of fluid and it worries me because she's ten years old and has never been fixed. I'm worried since she's old, and she has been in a vast amount of "heat" spells, that she has developed a form of cancer. I heard that this happens to cats that aren't fixed. I told my dad and he just brushed it off and said he can't afford taking her to the vet and if she dies, she dies. I'm going to wait a day or two and see if it goes away. If it doesn't, I'm going to take her myself.
Work wise I managed to work on After Effects and Fusion tutorials a decent bit last week. I have an After Effects project in mind. I need it to be a feature piece. I think I'm missing that one "big" project in my portfolio. I also applied to eight or so freelance jobs last week. I haven't heard back from any, but I'm keeping my head up. I'm going to be appling to a few full-time jobs this week as well. I recently was followed on Twitter by Red Giant and that gave me the idea to apply to them. They're out in Portland, Oregon and they make amazing plug-ins for software and create amazing content. Chicago is on the map too. There is a great firm there that is heavily invested in projection mapping and that definitely intrigues me. Lastly I'm going to be looking at Boston and maybe the New York area. Boston is a cool city and there are two studios that have definitely caught my eye. And, MIT is there and they're huge in interactive technology. At this point, I need a job. I got bills to pay, and I'm starting to feel the effect of being at home for too long.
I'd like to share something that my boss sent me a few weeks ago when she was at a conference...
"Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. They are work, family, health, friends and spirit and you're keeping all of these in the air."
"You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls - family, health, friends and spirit - are made of glass. If you drop one of these; they will be irrevocably scuffled, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for it."
Peace.
Andrew Rose
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